Skyler and Chelsea Archibald

Over the past few years, I’ve written columns about some of the people and experiences that have shaped my life. Thus far, I haven’t shared much about my biggest supporter.

I became best friends with Chelsea Forbes some 17 years ago and we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary last year. She still makes my heart skip when I see her.

Love can be lots of things, but for me, it’s about finding someone who inspires you to be a better person.

Chelsea inspires me with the way that she continually loves and parents our children: she brings care, affection, support and fun to every interaction.

Chelsea inspires me with her commitment to her job and the students she teaches. She treats all students with respect and sees their true potential, even if they make life difficult at times. She opens her classroom at lunch, as well as before and after school. Students pour in, with smiles on their faces, seeing the teacher they adore and being able to be in a safe space with their friends.

Chelsea inspires me because she can pick up a new board game or sport with ease. She can snowboard beautifully after taking a decade off, and run a half-marathon without training. She can bake five-layer wedding cakes, transporting them a hundred miles away and make each attendee’s mouth water.

Chelsea inspires me because she can feed two dozen (or more) people and never seem stressed. She can plan a party with a day’s notice. She can build a fence and till a garden. She can teach a group of students how to cook dinner for their family. She’s articulate and passionate in front of a news camera. Chelsea has transformed each of our apartments and homes into a warm and welcoming space, with her photography and imagination.

Where some see an insurmountable challenge, Chelsea sees an opportunity and her creative mind works incredibly well at accomplishing what she puts her mind to.

Love is about realizing that your companion is nearly perfect — a wonderful human being who you feel lucky to share each interaction.

That being said, I have not been a perfect companion. Marriage, love and friendship are hard, and I’ve made some hard mistakes over our time together.

Chelsea sacrificed early on in our marriage, first to be a mother to our children, then to support my academic pursuits and career. She followed me to a far-flung outpost where I worked a busy, underfunded job and attended graduate school. Her support allowed me to take on more work responsibilities that furthered my career. I also pursued my own hobbies and passions, mostly selfishly, although those pursuits were justified in my eyes.

But my busyness had a cost. I made less space in my life to support her, to be a more available father and husband. Her sacrifice, coupled with my selfish ambition, meant that she couldn’t follow her hobbies, interests and career, because I was so focused on me and mine.

Commitments away from the home played a role in how I treated those people that I love the most.

As our wonderful children grew, our schedules and obligations only stretched further. I had the perception that my actions were acceptable. My motivations — to provide security for my family and excel professionally — seemed noble. But what was really happening is that I was draining energy from the most important relationship in my life.

Chelsea gave me her best and made the best of our situation, but she didn’t always get the same in return.

Chelsea continues to inspire me, despite my mistakes. She is loving, patient and an incredible facilitator for my success as well as our children.

Love can be lots of things, certainly dependent on circumstances and people. I love Chelsea for the inspiration that she gives me; the opportunity for friendship, support, family-rearing and sharing a life together.

Valentine’s Day isn’t always roses, chocolate and relationship bliss. For this humble author, Valentine’s Day this year is an opportunity to reflect on what kind of partner I’ve been, and what kind I want to be. But mostly, I want to share my deepest love and appreciation for the person that inspires me. I love you Chelsea.